"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Tuesday, October 03, 2006
ABC's Monday Night Follies
ABC has, for over three decades now, had a Monday night tradition of broadcasting NFL football in Prime Time. This night of television has been nearly sacred in the minds of men all over the world. Very little else of interest was on Monday night TV, therefore even if the game sucked guys would watch it. Wives, girlfriends and significant others ceded, reluctantly, that three to four hour block of time to the Gods of the Gridiron.

This season, MNF has moved to ESPN. I don't know what the ratings have been or whether or not viewership has improved. What I do know is that ABC has now created tension in marriages and other similar relationships across the country.

You see, what took the place of MNF on ABC is none other than the quasi-reality unrealistic dating show known as the Bachelor. To sum it up, 25 women throw themselves at a single guy in hopes that, by the end of the season, he'll make one of them Mrs. Bachelor. As far as I know, the Bachelor (as a series) is batting the goose egg on actual marriages.

None the less, for twelve or so weeks, one single girl goes home in tears because she is left rose-less.

Let me say this for the record. I don't watch this show. I watch football. I can't stand the catty estrogen driven fabricated drama inherent in putting 12 women in close proximity one to another. The Ravishing Mrs. Cordeiro does watch this show. She gets great date ideas from it, few of which I can ever afford to attempt.

I have, however, been able to successfully guess the finalist in each of the Bachelor series - despite not having watched the show. I simply put on my "Shallow, Self-Centered, Testosterone Driven Guy" hat and pick the girl with the largest...ummm...eyes.

And if you believe that, I've got a bridge in New York with your name on it.

I implore ABC to put the Bachelor in a timeslot which will not conflict with Guy-TV, thereby restoring peace to marriages and balance to the force.

I'd prefer to watch football, over.. the Bachelor. However, I don't have cable, and have no ESPN.
The horror! The horror!!
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