"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Monday, December 26, 2005
 
Boxing Day Thoughts on Fruit Cake
Uses for Fruitcake. There have to be some. I had almost made it through Christmas without having to deal with the dreaded Fruitcake - then, lo and behold, one arrived in a carefully disguised gift bag. It was at the bottom - a store bought variety in a long slim box.

The Ravishing Mrs. Cordeiro and I regarded it with a smile. As I've come to learn, nobody really eats these things. The nutrition label on the box declared the contents to have enough calories, sugar, fat, and dried fruit to feed the population of Honduras for a month. So, as I plan on living long enough to make my New Year's Resolutions, I have to find something to do with this Fruitcake.

You see, I have a long and tortured relationship with Fruitcake. Mother Cordeiro, for more years than I care to remember, insisted on making Fruitcake (from her Grandmother's recipe) to include with the boxes of gifts we sent out every year to various family members. The recipe is very detailed - containing everything from four kinds of nuts to candied and dried fruit one seldom sees outside of a Fruitcake.

Capitalistic wisdom dictates the companies making this stuff, especially the candied and dried fruit, have to make money. Somebody has to buy this stuff. Mother Cordeiro no longer makes the Fruitcake, so I wonder if the Cordeiro Family is responsible for some unemployed fruit candiers someplace in Arizona.

But I digress.

After much mixing, the contents of the mixing bowl look like something one would see in a porcelain bowl after said contents had been processes by a human stomach. The contents of the bowl are then divided into loaf pans for the baking process - baked, then wrapped in aluminum foil. The last words of the recipe are, and I kid you not, "Flavor improves with age."

So, what happens to these Fruitcakes? Some make it to party platters. I'd say some was given to the dog, but I've tried that before and it didn't work out so well for the dog. Here are some of the places I've found the silver packaged Fruitcake:

1. Shelving Materials
2. Door Stops
3. Ballast

That list doesn't include all the dark recesses of the pantry, closets, and other nooks and crannies of houses where similar unwanted gifts are deposited.

Fruitcakes are still being made commercially. This means someone is buying them. If this person is you, get help. Stop the insanity.
Comments:
No I'm not one of those that buys fruitcake, but I have to say my mother makes one to die for.
It is white, light, sweet, and none of the spices fruit in it. Coconut, almonds, sweet pinapple and cherries, and white raisins. That's it. Very good, oh and since there is not a smidgen of alcohol in it it has to be frozen to last. :)
 
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