"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Thursday, January 13, 2005
Incoherent Mumblings of a Drunk
Note to self: Never read a Ted "Dude Where's My Scotch" Kennedy speech right after breakfast.

Teddy managed to stumble over to the National Press Club yesterday and deliver a rambling, wandering, incoherent diatribe that evidently passed for a major democratic policy speech. According to the transcript, he even got a few applause breaks. What do you expect? It is, after all and by definition, a Press Club.

His speech offered no new direction for a quasi-national party that is taking on water and in danger of sinking into the sea of irrelevance. He spoke of increases in tax rates and the minimum wage, obstructing social security reform, and a policy of appeasement and surrender in the war on terror.

Perhaps Teddy has yet to recover from the post-election stupor. John "Lurch" Kerry tried the approach and lost by nearly 4 million votes. So dense is Teddy's stupor he believes that with just a few swing votes in strategic states the Dems could have won the White House, the House of Representatives, and the Senate. Teddy's most memorable statement on this issue was:
We, as Democrats, may be in the minority in Congress, but we speak for the majority of Americans. If we summon the courage and the determination to take our stand and state it clearly, I'm convinced the battles that lie ahead will yield our greatest victories.
In the State of Reality in which most of us are required to operate understand that having a minority of House seats and a minority of Senate seats in addition to winning a minority of all votes cast means Teddy and his drinking buddies represent a minority of the American People.

If you read this speech carefully, you'll see it for what it is - a Presidential Stump Speech. You see, deep down inside Teddy feels like he was cheated. As the last of the Kennedy brethren, he felt entitled to follow in the footsteps of Jack and Bobby to his birthright - that being the big chair in the Oval Office.

That said, Teddy's presidential ambitions were cut short the day he found out that drinking, driving, bridges, and rivers don't mix. Sadly, Mary Jo Kopechne ended up with the ultimate in Kennedy raw deals as Teddy left her to drown at Chapaquiddick. You see, Teddy, it takes a real man to sit in that chair and when the accounts are settled, you just don't measure up.

Except in places like the National Press Club.

Here endeth the lesson.

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