"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Monday, August 30, 2004
 
McCain Translation
Sometimes, in the course of political discourse, there is a need to translate what is actually said in a speech in order that its true meaning is understood by the audience. As a trained professional linguist, I will use my extensive linguistic talents in order to translate a portion of the remarks made by Arizona's Senior Senator, John McCain, this evening at the Republican National Convention.

Remarks as given:
As we've been a good friend to other countries in moments of shared perils, so we have good reason to expect their solidarity with us in this struggle.

Proper translation:
France, Germany, and other countries (you know who you are) - we have bailed your sorry rear ends, in the case of France, your pansified rear ends, twice in the past century. We have paid for your liberty with the blood of far too many of our best. We have done so out of a duty to the higher cause of liberty and freedom for all men. All we have asked for in return is land under which our dead soldiers, airmen, sailors, and marines may rest.

It is incumbent upon you, as benefactors of our efforts, to support freedom and liberty for all men - not just those you feel deserving thereof. It is also your duty, as civilized human beings, to support our efforts against those who would destroy the civilization and freedom you enjoy. All in all, its a pretty simple concept. You cannot sleep under a blanket of freedom provided by the United States, and then criticize the way she provides it and undermine her efforts to defend it, and you. Get with the program.

Here endeth the lesson.
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