"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Dems command Lurch - "Straighten Those Deck Chairs!"
Howard Fineman over at Newsweek reports that top Democratic operatives want Lurch to shake up his campaign staff in light of his latest slide in the opinion polls.

This request is not without precedent. Deck hands on the Titanic were straightening chairs just before she split in two and sank like a stone.

ABCNEWS.com's The Note has some great quotes about the Lurch Campaign's sinking implosion. Is it possible to do both at the same time? We shall see.
As for the Kerry campaign -- as one Democratic strategist surveying the the last three weeks said, they have gone from "delusion obliviousness straight to panic. Not even a pause at anywhere constructive."

Yesterday, as the in-transition rapid response team flailed about, Kerry spent time on debate prep. It is unclear if there were any fiddlers present.

Clintonite Re-treads have been added to the floundering SS Lurch. I doubt it will help. Joe Lockhart is still trying to find out what the definition of "is" is.

If you hear a string quartet playing Nearer My God To Thee, call me.

Every afternoon this week I take a walk in downtown Manhattan. The "E" Subway line dead ends at the World Trade Center site. I catch that line a few blocks from my hotel in Manhattan's Upper East Side. My professional duties this week require me to work from an office just north of Battery Park, so I walk a few blocks from the WTC.

(Side note for those of your familiar with the New York City subway system. Yes, I know I could catch the 4 or 5 subway and end up at the Bowling Green station. Bear with me.)

I take this walk every day that I am here because it reminds me of the primary reason this election is so important. It reminds me that in the early morning hours of September 11, 2001, 19 Muslim nutcases attacked my country and killed 2,981 of my country men. Yesterday, America's Mayor for Life, the Honorable Rudy Guilanni and Arizona's Senior Senator John McCain went to great lengths to remind the American people of the events of that day. That is as it should be.

We need to remember.

On Monday, as I made my way past the WTC site, I was snagged by a reporter from the Boston area's PBS station. He asked me about my feelings when I look at the WTC site. My answer to him was simple:

I am still angry.

Evidently this was not the type of response he'd been getting during his stay at Ground Zero. The rest of the "interview" was pretty much status quo. I'm sure the 6 people who watch PBS in Boston will find it amusing.

There are those (including one guy at the WTC today who looked more lost than anything else) who believe any mention of the events of September 11th are inappropriate - especially on the political stage. What else, if I may be so bold, are we to base our votes on?

There is one man who has stood unwaveringly against those who have, and if left unchecked would, cause harm to America and her people. There is another man who has taken every possible position regarding the ongoing war on terrorism. The choice to me is clear.

I want somebody sitting in that chair prepared to make the tough (and not always popular) decisions regarding the security of my country. I don't want him to worry about what other nations will think, say, or do in response. I don't want him to take a poll. I want him to make a decision, and stick to it. Lurch is incapable of such decisive action.

I mean, seriously folks, who can take seriously a man who windsurfs in flowery spandex?

Here endeth the lesson.

WOSABA finally found the correct credentials for the RNC
Monday, August 30, 2004
McCain Translation
Sometimes, in the course of political discourse, there is a need to translate what is actually said in a speech in order that its true meaning is understood by the audience. As a trained professional linguist, I will use my extensive linguistic talents in order to translate a portion of the remarks made by Arizona's Senior Senator, John McCain, this evening at the Republican National Convention.

Remarks as given:
As we've been a good friend to other countries in moments of shared perils, so we have good reason to expect their solidarity with us in this struggle.

Proper translation:
France, Germany, and other countries (you know who you are) - we have bailed your sorry rear ends, in the case of France, your pansified rear ends, twice in the past century. We have paid for your liberty with the blood of far too many of our best. We have done so out of a duty to the higher cause of liberty and freedom for all men. All we have asked for in return is land under which our dead soldiers, airmen, sailors, and marines may rest.

It is incumbent upon you, as benefactors of our efforts, to support freedom and liberty for all men - not just those you feel deserving thereof. It is also your duty, as civilized human beings, to support our efforts against those who would destroy the civilization and freedom you enjoy. All in all, its a pretty simple concept. You cannot sleep under a blanket of freedom provided by the United States, and then criticize the way she provides it and undermine her efforts to defend it, and you. Get with the program.

Here endeth the lesson.
Dispatches from the front...
The television coverage of the RNC party is vaguely familiar to me. I haven't seen network anchors this discouraged since CNN's Frank Sesno covered the 1994 mid-term election returns. Back then, CNN was the only game in town when it came to 24 hour news coverage, and for whatever reason, he drew the late night shift.

He had an incredulous tone in his voice as he made the announcement:

The Republicans have taken the house.

Then a few hours later:

The Republicans have taken the Senate.

Frank had a blank look on his face. I was doing the dance of joy in my college apartment at two o'clock in the morning.

You can see the same blank looks on the faces of Judy Woodruff, Peter Jennings, Chris Matthews, and Dan Rather. This usually happens as they are forced to report that their own left leaning, over democratic sampling poll data reports W is up in nearly ever category when compared to Lurch. Given the very real possibility they may have to report Lurch's defeat come November 2nd, you may get the opportunity to see some of these left leaning reporters as their heads explode.

Talk Radio, Fox News, and the Blogosphere (the next generation of Grassroots Politics) have effectively put an end to the network stranglehold on the political information process. This is the first election where a forum exists whereby ordinary people like myself and my fellow Sons of the Republic can express our views in an unfiltered environment. Anybody can come here and read our commentary. Nobody has to stay, or return. It is the ultimate use of free market forces.

So, Chris, Judy, Dan, Peter, and Frank, we don't really need you. We definitely don't give a rat's hindquarters what you think or the spin you attempt to put on information. Despite your beliefs to the contrary, we can, and often do, think for ourselves. We realize this may come as a shock to you. We're sure you'll get over it.

This is our convention. Despite your presence, and that of other sniveling, unkempt wanna be journalists such as Al "Cheapshot" Franken and Michael "Waste Of Skin And Breathable Air" Moore, we're gonna have a great time.
Who is this guy, and what has he done with Tom Daschle?
Tom "Napoleon Syndrome" Daschle is in deep, deep trouble. To put it bluntly, he's a red state democrat senator running in a deep blue republican state. He is in very real danger of becoming the first Senate Minority Leader (we must continue to remind him of his minority because in his delusional mind he still thinks he runs the Senate)in recent memory to lose a re-election bid.

So, despite his obstructionist tendencies about nearly any effort by W to move any agenda forward, Little Tommy has wrapped himself in the W's mantra and attempted to time warp back to the days just following September 11, 2001. Drudge has posted a transcript of the latest Little Tommy campaign ad.
Pay no attention to the man obstructing the President's Agenda. I am the great and powerful Daschle!

I guess he's taking a page from the Lurch Campaign Playbook. He's only trying to get the people of South Dakota to forget about nearly 3 years of obstruction. Lurch is trying to make the American people forget about a 20 year Senate record that reveals, well, not very much. That which is revealed in his Senate record is not very impressive.

Good luck, Little Tommy. If I were you, I'd freshen up my resume.
Sunday, August 29, 2004
So much for Peaceful Demonstrations
Lurch supporters set fire to a few floats in Manhattan today. But those criminal acts pale in comparison to what a Lurch man did to a W supporter in Washington state the other day. Check this out - play the video.

This is just the beginning.
Long Haired, Dope Smoking, Maggot Infested
Yes, I'm talking about the 200,000+ people getting ready to march on Manhattan. I passed a bunch of them on my way back from a church service this morning near Union Square. They have their cardboard coffins draped in (very) cheap american flags. I'll be pretty surprised if the flags survive the sunlight.

This group is made up of any and every anti-W person that could be trucked, bussed, or subwayed to Manhattan. They are not pro-Lurch. They're anti-government, anti-W, anti-Cheney, and any other anti you can come up with. They will make a lot of noise, scream a lot of profanities, and several of them will end up spending the night (and possibly a few days) in the New York City Jail system.

Hopefully they'll use that opportunity to take a shower.

In the mean time, the rest of America will watch them and realize these are the real people behind the Lurch Campaign. These are the people who want him in the Oval Office, and there's is the agenda he will implement if elected.

They will see this, and they will understand American cannot afford a Lurch presidency.

Stay tuned.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
Sniveling Protestors
Well, some 250 bicycle protestors managed to get themselves arrested last night as they snarled traffic in Manhattan. They should be happy the NYPD took them away. I'm sure the Cab Drivers stuck in traffic would not have been so kind. I guess they got the answer to the question they shouted up and down the streets

Who's streets? Our streets!

Sorry, guys. The NYPD and most of Manhattan disagree with you. Of course the press chose to air the somewhat dumbstruck arrestees. They seemed very surprised that they were arrested for stopping traffic. Well, this is the post Giuliani era. When you break the law, you get busted. Get used to it.

Planned Parenthood (another oxymoron title if ever I saw one) marched their group of sniveling whiners across the Brooklyn Bridge. No real altercations to speak of. Just a bunch of unattractive women walking across a bridge.

Tomorrow is the big protest day - at least that's what's been published.

Stay tuned.

(And yes, Cindy, I'll go pick up a disposable camera to document the events as they unfold.)
Friday, August 27, 2004
New York State of Mind
Where can you find a few hundred bicyclists attempting to snarl traffic, truly great pizza, and four stark naked protestors in the middle of town?

Just another day in New York City.

(Memo to the naked protestors - next time you want to use your body to move your cause forward, you might want to consider whether or not anyone actually wants to see your physical assets. Making people sick does not garner followers.)

Yes, dear reader, its time for the Republican National Convention - right smack dab in the middle of the Big Apple. As I'm in New York for the week, I'll be making periodic posts with my take on the events of the week.

So far, I can tell you that whatever protestors show up for the convention, they will be met by the welcoming arms of New York's Finest. I've never seen so many cops in all my life. They are ready for anything, and I take comfort in that.

In other news, the Lurch Campaign is in a slow tail spin. W is up in the latest polls, especially those key battleground states of Ohio, Wisconsin, and Missouri. This pre convention bounce is in stark contrast to the post convention thud experience by Lurch in the aftermath of the DNC.

From a personal perspective, the leftist democrats are really grasping at straws - even in New York. As I wandered around the City yesterday, I was accosted by a DNC operative telling me "You need a new President." She then went on to bash W and his entire administration. Despite all this, she did not give me one reason to vote for Lurch.

There in lies the problem for Lurch and Company. They give the people nothing to vote for.

This will be an interesting week. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Words Mean Things
Somedays I am literally dumbstruck by the lack of reading comprehension ability that exists in today's media establishment. By reading the reports of Dick 'Big Time' Cheney's comments yesterday on the subject of Gay Marriage, one could easily draw the conclusion that Big Time was well on his way to being the Grand Master of San Francisco's Gay Pride Parade.

Leftists are crowing. Conservatives are shocked. Neither group, however, seems to have actually read the transcript of what Big Time actually said.

Let's get down to the basics before several sets of underwear become knotted in a bunch.

A woman in Davenport, Iowa asked the following question:

What do you think about homosexual marriage?
Big Time answered with the following statements (my commentary is interjected where I see fit).

Lynne and I have a gay daughter, so it's an issue our family is very familiar with. With the respect to the question of relationships, my general view is freedom means freedom for everyone... People ought to be free to enter into any kind of relationship they want to.
I may be mistaken, but I believe there is not a state in the union in which men and women are not free to enter into any relationship, hetero or homo sexual. Despite the illusions to the contrary, most of which are made by leftists and their willing accomplices in the press, the main stream Republican party is not trying to outlaw homosexual relationships.

Back to Big Time:

The question that comes up with the issue of marriage is what kind of official sanction or approval is going to be granted by government? Historically, that's been a relationship that has been handled by the states. The states have made that fundamental decision of what constitutes a marriage.
Nothing which Big Time has said thus far should be a revelation to anyone. The states have been left to themselves to define what is, and what is not, a state sanctioned and recognized marriage.

As to the push by W and like minded people nationwide for a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage as the union of one man and one woman, Big Time said the following:

I think his perception was that the courts, in effect, were beginning to change, without allowing the people to be involved. The courts were making the judgment for the entire country.
In the states where the issue of 'Gay Marriage' has come before a vote of the people, it has gone down to defeat every single time. Most recently, the Missouri vote garnered some 60% of the people saying marriage is to be recognized as the union of one man, and one woman. In 2000, California passed a similar iniative, with much the same margin. When it is put to the people, the people decide to stick with tradition.

Where is the problem? In San Francisco and some non descript county in New Mexico where local left leaning officials take matters into their own hands in order to right a perceived social injustice. Its in Massachusetts, where nine black robed thugs (otherwise known as the State Supreme Court) proclaim to the state legislature that laws must be passed to enable 'Gay Marriage' despite the fact the judiciary branch has no authority to issue direction to the legislative branch. I'm not a lawyer, but I did pay attention in High School civics class.

Big Time has his opinion. He is entitled to that opinion. He did not come out in favor of 'Gay Marriage'. Try as you might, you can't find that in his commentary. Where does he stand as to W's efforts to pass the Marriage Amendment?

...at this point, save my own preference, as I have stated, but the president makes policy for the administration. He's made it clear that he does, in fact, support a constitutional amendment on this issue.
W makes the policy. Big Time executes that policy - despite whatever personal feelings he may hold. That dear readers, is the epitome of an Executive Officer. When the decision or policy is made, his toes are right on the line with his Boss. In an 'Adult Organization', that's the way its done. If you were hoping for the Clitonesqe intra-administration debate on CNN and the front pages of the New York Times and Washington Post, you came to the wrong show.

Here endeth the lesson.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Look! A ScareKerrry!
Damage Control
A Captain whose ship is taking on water will do just about anything to plug the hole. Lurch is trying to do this with the huge holes shot into his campaign ship. He's filed suit with the Federal Elections Commission, begged the book publisher to pull Unfit for Command from distribution, and taken every conceivable cheap shot at the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

Now he has resorted to truly desperate measures. Drudge has posted a conversation reported to him by Robert "Friar Tuck" Brant Cdr., USN (RET), a Swift Boat Veteran. This conversation is between Lurch and the aforementioned Swift Boat Veteran.

KERRY: "Why are all these swift boat guys opposed to me?"

BRANT: "You should know what you said when you came back, the impact it had on the young sailors and how it was disrespectful of our guys that were killed over there."

[Brant had two men killed in battle.]

KERRY: "When we dedicated swift boat one in '92, I said to all the swift guys that I wasn't talking about the swifties, I was talking about all the rest of the veterans."

Kerry then asked if he could meet Brant ["You were one of the best"] -- man to man -- face to face.

Brant declined the invite, explaining that Kerry was obviously not prepared to correct the record on exactly what happened during Vietnam and what happened when Kerry came back.

Lurch, the wind is coming.
Friday, August 20, 2004
Swift Boats Strike Again
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth has produced yet another advertisement that shoots a very accurate broadside at Lurch's campaign. Go see it at Human Events Online - listen very carefully to the statements of the men who have come forward to call Lurch on the carpet for his actions on April 22, 1971. Hat tip to Hugh for the link.

These men were POWs in Vietnam. They were forced to listen to the bold face lies told by one of their brothers in arms as he accused them and their fellow warriors of heinous war crimes.

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart. - Proverbs 11:29

Lurch, the wind is coming.
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Somebody call the Waaaambulance!
Lurch has really out done himself today. His Glassjawness took aim (not very accurately) at the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth and also at the W campaign even though the two groups are wholly unrelated.

Lurch's whining took the following form:

This group isn't interested in the truth -- and they're not telling the truth. They didn't even exist until I won the nomination for president. They're funded by hundreds of thousands of dollars from a Republican contributor out of Texas. They're a front for the Bush campaign. And the fact that the president won't denounce what they're up to tells you everything you need to know -- he wants them to do his dirty work.

You'll note that at no time has Lurch ever taken the Swifties on about the substance of their argument or the crux of their accusations. He hems, haws, flips and flops about the circumstances surrounding his medals and his patently false claims of Cambodian infiltration.

Now he calls on W to denounce a group with which he has no relationship, and somehow prevail on them to pull an ad from the air which was paid for with their money - not W's. Lurch is very comfortable telling people what to do with their own money. W is not, and he shows no intention of taking Lurch's advice.

Well Senator Lurch, if you want W to prevail upon the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth to pull their ad, perhaps you should prevail upon Moveon.org, George Soros, and every other independent left slanted 527 organization to pull their inflammatory ads as well.

When that happens, we'll talk. Until then, in the immortal words of your spouse,

Shove It!!

Here endeth the lesson.
Strings vs. Brass
I must first admit that I have not watched much of the wall to wall, round the clock, six station NBC coverage of the Athens Games. Frankly, I don't have the time, and watching Badmitton is a sure fire cure for insomnia if ever there was one.

That said, I did catch a medals ceremony yesterday. I'm not sure who won, but she is an American, and thus the Star Spangled Banner was played for the crowd - much to the chagrin of French competitors everywhere.

Now, I'm not much of a music officionado, but of one thing I'm certain. Whatever arrangement they are playing in Athens is the most sissified version of the Star Spangled Banner I've ever heard. We are a proud musical nation forged in the tradition of John Philip Souza. The Star Spangled Banner is not meant to be played by a string orchestra in soft, soothing tones. It is meant to be performed by brass bands - the more horns the better - accompanied by booming bass drums and crashing cymbals. It brings old men to their feet and brings tears to the eyes of men and women from sea to shining sea.

The arrangement played in Greece these days can barely keep people awake.

Somebody find this musical arranger and cram the string section into an appropriate spot.
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Memo to Muqtada al-Sadr
Now that you've rebuffed offers from your countrymen to discuss a peace plan for Najaf and surrounding regions, you have to ask yourself one question.

Do I feel lucky?

Well, do ya? Punk?

You must be feeling pretty lucky, considering you walked away from the last skirmish with only a shrapnel wound in your arm. So, yeah, you're lucky. That said, all good things must come to an end.

Right now, you're staring at the business end of the most powerful, best trained, most heavily armed and lethal fighting force ever assembled on the face of God's green, or in your case sandy, earth. You've bled this force a little. In doing so, you've done something very dangerous.

You've made them angry.

You shouldn't have done that. You won't like them when they're angry.

Now that you've rejected the olive branch from your countrymen, you've made yourself a target. Its only a matter of time before one of your greedy lieutenants gives you up. Any you can rest assured this time it will be more than a piece of shrapnel, and it will find its way to something more vital than your arm.

In short, to quote another great American military leader:

Behold, we will end the conflict.

Here endeth the lesson.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
An Open Letter to Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA)
Dear Senator:

Today you took a pretty cheap shot at the Vice President of the United States. Here at Sons of the Republic, we like to call him 'Big Time'.

Vice-President Cheney rightly criticized your presidential candidate, also known here as 'Lurch', for his promise to wage a 'More Sensitive War' - whatever the hell that means. You, in turn, today referred to 'Big Time' as a Coward because he didn't serve in Vietnam. If you'll recall, Senator, you often referred to yourself as a Vietnam Veteran, only to be forced to amend that title to Vietnam-era Veteran when it was discovered the closest you came to combat was flying damaged aircraft from Japan to the Philippines for repair.

Lurch served four months in a combat zone. As of this writing, much of his alleged heroism is under scrutiny, and indeed in dispute. I, myself, am less concerned with actions three decades past and am much more concerned with the present.

I am curious, Senator, why it is that your candidate chooses to focus on a four month period three decades ago and not on the twenty years he has served in the US Senate. Could it be that there is no there there?

'Big Time' has served his country honorably in several different capacities in every branch of government save the Judical Branch. Given time, he may even serve there. He has been intricately involved in three wars in which his expertise and courage led to victory.

In the attacks of September 11th, he was the one in the bunker carrying out the orders of the President. Key decision were made. The nation was in crisis and he was calm. He did his duty in ways you cannot, in your small world view, understand.

Where were you in those early morning hours, Senator? Hiding under a desk? Mentally paralyzed as was your candidate?

One might ask if the botulism toxin he injects into his forehead has paralyzed what ever muscle exists between his ears. But I digress.

Bottom line, Senator - you have no standing with which to call, or refer to, Big Time as a coward. A man who lives in such a shoddily constructed glass house would do well not to throw large rocks. You do yourself a disservice and you dishonor the office which you hold, and the people you represent.

Here endeth the lesson.

Friday, August 13, 2004
Big Time Live
Check out Hugh Hewitt's interview with Dick "Big Time" Cheney. Straight forward, blunt, and nuance free. Be afraid, Breck Girl. Be very afraid.

Thursday, August 12, 2004
Big Time's Broadside at Lurch's "More Sensitive War"
Remember Lurch's promise to wage a More Sensitive War? Well, Dick "Big Time" Cheney had the following to say about that concept:

"Senator Kerry has also said that if he were in charge he would fight a 'more sensitive' war on terror. America has been in too many wars for any of our wishes, but not a one of them was won by being sensitive. President Lincoln and General Grant didn't wage sensitive wars. Nor did President Roosevelt or Generals Eisenhower MacArthur. A 'sensitive war' will not destroy the evil men who killed 3,000 Americans and who seek chemical, nuclear and biological weapons to kill hundreds or thousands more. The men who beheaded Daniel Pearl and Paul Johnson will not be impressed by our sensitivity."

Translation: No, Lurch, we can't all just get along.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Free Speech - For Leftists Only?
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

For those products of the public education system who managed to graduate without either the ability to read, or the capacity to comprehend that which is read, allow me to here conduct a quick primer on constitutionally Guaranteed Freedoms.

The above highlighted text is taken from the First amendment to the constitution of the United States. You'll note that said amendment prohibits the state, or any affiliated agency or representative, from infringing upon the right of the people to engage in the practice of speech in all of its related forms.

This amendment is widely cited by those who believe there should be no limits placed by the state on the freedom to express one's self in any way seen fit by an individual. It is used by everyone from bible bashing preachers to smut hussling pornographer.

Freedom of Speech is crucial to the political process. Lurch and his Democratic leaning surrogates would have you believe that any attack on his character (truthful though it may be) is illegal and must be censored by the government.

Yesterday, groups by the name of Democracy 21, Campaign Legal Center and Center for Responsive Politics made known their claim, no doubt soon to be followed by legal pleadings, that the advertisement produced by Swift Boat Veterans for Truth is illegal and violates the McCain Feingold law banning the use of unregulated soft money in the election process.

No word on whether the above listed groups will file the same complaint against Moveon.org.

I'm not a lawyer, nor do I play one in Cyberspace. I have, however, actually read the legislation in question and find that Democracy 21, Campaign Legal Center and Center for Responsive Politics have an argument with a gaping hole in it. Swift Boat Veterans for Truth makes no statement as to whom a person should vote for, or against. They simply call into question statements made by Lurch regarding his service in Vietnam and the medals he "won" during said service. It is not a political ad, nor does it claim to be so.

What the ad represents is a group of people getting together and exercising their right to Free Speech in the Public Square. They are no different than the Sons of the Republic in that sense.

I do not agree with what Lurch, Breck Girl, or any of their surrogates have to say. Most days I wish they would find their way to an uncharted island and stay there. Never the less, they, like me, are citizens of this great country. They enjoy the rights of said citizenship, as do the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

And while I do not agree with the statements of Lurch and Company, I will - to quote Voltaire - "defend to my death their right to say it". One would hope Lurch would afford his fellow veterans the same courtesy.

Don't hold your breath.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
System Error. Virtual Memory Corrupted!

Monday, August 09, 2004
A More Sensitive War

Military Intelligence. Jumbo Shrimp. Slightly Pregnant.

Add Sensitive War to the latest list of Oxymorons. Somehow Lurch managed to put these two words together. No, I am not making this up.

“I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side and lives up to American values in history.”

I have a great example of the type of sensitive war I'd like to wage. Take a look here.

War is about killing people, busting stuff up, and winning. War is not about making friends and being liked by everyone. Lurch will live to regret these words.

Here endeth the lesson.

Lurch's Virtual Memory

Clinton had virtual memories of African-American Churches burning by the dozen during the 60's. Algore had virtual memories of touring Texas after a hurricane, all while inventing the internet.

Lurch tops them all. Seems he happily relates spending Christmas 1968 in Cambodia taking fire from Vietnamese and Cambodian Khmer Rouge forces.

Problem is, nobody else shares those memories. Drudge has the details. Check it out.

Friday, August 06, 2004
Send in the Lawyers!!

Don't deny the charge. Don't produce evidence to contradict the claims made in the advertisement. Don't stand up like a real man and defend your status as a war hero.

Send in two blood sucking shiester lawyers to level baseless charges at men who are truly, bona fide American heros - and they still have the medals and ribbons to prove it.

Lurch has directed Mark Elias, General Counsel to the Lurch-Breck Girl 2004 and Joseph Sandler, General Counsel to the Democratic National Committee, to put Station Managers across the country on notice that they have no obligation to air the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth advertisement. Said bloodsucking shiester lawyers sent a letter to Station Managers - said letter can be seen at Human Events Online. Gotta love those guys. HEO does a good job of refuting the content of the letter.

The letter proves that money can't buy you good legal representation. Either that, or the premise upon which their argument lies is too flimsy to support their claims. Probably both. Both General Counsels fail to understand that politics is a contact sport. One needs only look at the campaign literature of the late 1800's to see that today's discourse is parochial by comparison.

Never mind the fact there exists in this country a guaranteed Freedom of Speech and Expression. Despite the best efforts of people like Messrs. Ellias and Sandler, these freedoms do not apply only to those occupying the far left half of the political spectrum. The organization Swift Boat Veterans For Truth (emphasis added because the aforementioned bloodsucking shiester lawyers omitted the last two words from the title in their letter) have as much right to state their opinions as Lurch has to deny them. They have paid for this right with their blood and that of their comrades. This country is built upon the freedom to say what you want about whomever you want.

I believe Lurch is playing into the hands of those who would see him finish out his career in public service as the Junior Senator from the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. In the immortal words of the Bard:

Me thinks thou does protest too much.

Thursday, August 05, 2004
Seven minutes in September

This is the latest quote from Lurch today. He took a shot at W's actions on September 11, 2001 with the following jab:

Had I been reading to children and had my top aide whisper in my ear that America is under attack, I would have told those kids very nicely and politely that the president of the United States has something that he needs to attend to.

This proves to me that Lurch has no understanding of what it is to lead, let alone sit in a position of command. One of the hallmarks of a great leader is his ability to remain calm while the world around him is in turmoil. The world around W was sliding into a panic on that morning in September. He had heard the news that a plane had hit the WTC Tower 2 - and all information pointed at an accident. It was not until the second plane hit that he (and we) knew we were under attack.

So I ask you, and Lurch, what good would it have done for W to sprint out of the classroom, frightening the children and panicking the press? What difference would it have made?

The obvious answer, to every one that is except for Lurch is not one damn bit.

We do not live in a world of shoulda, coulda, woulda, and oughtta. On that day, W took command of the situation and did what was best for the country. That is a lesson Lurch has yet to learn.

Here endeth the lesson.

Band of Brothers

Lurch will not be happy about this. His actual shipmates from Vietnam aren't too happy about the way he has wrapped himself in the medals he received in Vietnam. They're really unhappy about his testimony before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee in April of 1971. They're mad as hell, and they will not be silenced.
They have put forth a commercial sure to raise questions about Lurch's military record. Its available at Human Events Online. I watched it once, and saw testimony by men with at least five bronze stars and a many other commendations among them. The statements they make are truly damning - especially considering they come from those who served alongside the man who would be the next president.
Also available today is the book Unfit For Command.
Drip, drip, drip. The hits just keep on coming. Considering Lurch's glass jaw for this kind of stuff, a Deanesque meltdown cannot be far off.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004
And the winner for the best quote of the day is...

Bridget Johnson for her column in today's Wall Street Journal Opinion page entitled Diadatic Dirt. Go ahead and read the whole thing, but my favorite part of the whole piece is in the last section.

John Kerry wants to present himself as a distinguished gentleman from Massachusetts--someone who can relate to the everyday, common man who married a ketchup fortune--and he executed a well-scripted convention production. He got down and dirty in the primaries with the man he eventually picked as his running mate, painting John Edwards as a political infant, slamming him on taxes, trade, health care, you name it. As politics makes strange bedfellows, now they're like two honeymooners--tossing a football, giving and getting liberal amounts of hugs. Mr. Kerry and Mr. Edwards swear they've swallowed their personal differences and now focus that energy on George W. Bush.

Mr. Kerry's allies include 12-year-old Ilana Wexler, the Kids for Kerry founder, who spoke at the Democratic National Convention and has proposed a "no-name-calling day" for candidates. Never mind that in recent months we've heard the most virulent bashing and demonization of our commander in chief coming from this girl's party of choice.

Not that Mr. Bush needs any pity. This Texan could hogtie Mr. Kerry and pop an O'Doul's over his squirming body. But who needs to when you've got Dick Cheney keeping it real--and interesting? After invoking the F-word in a private, overheard response to Sen. Patrick Leahy, he commented that it felt good, but also wouldn't be indicative of the language he normally uses. Honestly, I wouldn't care if Mr. Cheney invented the F-word. Even with a bad ticker, you know he could take it to any of those politicos like an Iron Chef to a flopping fish.

And why is this important? Because I don't want a leader who will invite Osama bin Laden to sit down for group therapy and talk about why he wants to destroy the United States; I want a leader who will take the fight to al Qaeda and its cronies regardless of what France thinks. I want a candidate who is less concerned about whether the world wants to come out and play than about dirty bombs dropping on our doorstep. Tough times take a tough hombre who can roll with the punches and fight back when necessary, and isn't afraid of violating some unwritten code by informing us of his opponent's flaws.

The WSJ identifies Ms. Johnson as a journalist and screenwriter in Southern California. I guess there is intelligent life in Hollywood after all.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Four More Years of Hell

You know, I didn't think anyone could ever surpass Hillary in the use of shameful rhetoric on the campaign trail.

Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry (deep gasp for breath) has done just that. It seems as though she doesn't like being subjected to heckling, questions, or any other form of scrutiny. You see, as she and her husband Lurch were stumping, sloshing actually as they were along the shores of Lake Michigan, some Anti-Lurch protestors with bull-horns began heckling them with chants of

Four More Years! Four More Years!

To which Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry (deep gasp for breath) stated:

They want four more years of hell.

Add this to her recent Shove It! outburst to a Pittsburgh reporter and you have yourself a woman who is doing her level best to make herself a very inviting target. So, Lurch, be sure to encourage her to speak her mind - I'm sure she has one - as often as possible.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Maria Teresa Thierstein Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry (deep gasp for breath) seem to have a very thin skin when it comes to taking verbal fire from opponents. In my opinion, its only a matter of time before one or both of them suffer a Deanesque Meltdown.

Monday, August 02, 2004
Intelligence Reform

W came out in support of most of what the 9/11 Commission wanted in the way of Intelligence Reform. I won't bother you with the details, as I'm sure they will be subject to debate and change. Such is the way of Washington, DC.

Lurch came out with a sound byte for the day, claiming that if W were really serious about Intelligence Reform, he would call Congress back into session to begin implementation of the aforementioned reforms.

My question to Lurch is this: Your record of attendance during the previous legislative session was down right abysmal. If I showed up to work as often as you showed up to the Senate, I'd be fired. If said special session were called, would you attend every single minute of the proceedings? Me thinks not.

Draw your own conclusions.
What if you threw a convention, and nobody cared?

The aftermath of the DNQ (Democratic National Quagmire), AKA "The Reinvention Convention" is turning out to be rather bad for Lurch and Company.

Normally, candidates - regardless of performance - get some sort of boost in the afterglow of their party's convention. Speculation pegged this support boost to be anywhere from 5-10%. I don't normally put much stock in polls, but USAToday/CNN/Gallup survey taken shortly after LurchFest 2004 actually shows W up by 4%.

In case you were wondering, that wasn't the desired result Lurch was hoping for. It seems as if the entire country took a look at the Democrats' best possible show and gave a collective yawn. Insomniacs across the country finally got a good nap.

In other news, The Maha Rushie put forth an interesting Commander-in-Chief Test. Kinda puts things in perspective if you ask me.

More later.

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