"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Thursday, May 06, 2004

This apology crap is getting out of hand. W today told the King of Jordan he was “sorry for the humiliation suffered” by Iraqis at the hands of US troops. This is a mistake. If an apology is warranted, it should be given by the perpetrators of the actions in question, not by their Commander in Chief.

If this is going to be the way things work now, I hereby request and demand an apology from the following individuals:

Ted “Dude, where’s my Scotch” Kennedy: For excessive idiocy in the pursuit of liberal lunacy.

Hillary “We are the President” Clinton: For eight years of cheapening the White House, failing to stand up for herself as a woman against a husband who treated the intern staff as his own personal sex buffet, and finally for a completely fictional accounting of said eight years in a ghost written book.

Tom “Napoleon Complex” Daschle: For being a general pain in the hindquarters and pretending to be relevant.

Bill “der Schliekmeister” Clinton: The list of things he should apologize for is so long I can’t begin to write it. The last few years of his sorry excuse for an administration was peppered with apologies – however none of those had anything to do with his actions.

Saudi Arabia: For being the homeland of 19 of the 21 hijackers, and for being the monetary source for terrorism on a scale we cannot yet fully understand.

Kim Choung “Mentally” Il: For being just plain clinically insane.

Usama “Binny” Laden: For the first attack on the WTC, Somalia, the USS Cole, the East Africa bombings, and, lest we forget, September 11th.

John “Lurch” Kerry (by the way, did you know he served in Vietnam?): For failing to support America during time of war. For consistently being on both sides of every issue. For being a free loading rich guy pretending to be a “man of the people”. And, just generally being a walking corpse.

I could think of more, and probably will, but I must move on to Rummy.

Here is the most up to date list I can find of people or organizations calling for Rummy to resign or be fired from his post as Secretary of Defense:

The Economist
The St. Louis Post Dispatch
Representative Nancy “My face is stretched so tight I can’t stop smiling” Pelosi – House Minority Leader
Thomas Friedman – New York Times columnist
Senator Tom “I want to get left of Ted, but I can’t bend that far” Harkin (D-Iowa)
Representative Charles “Stop me when I start making sense” Rangel (D-New York)

Quite a cast of characters if you ask me. Well, Rummy gave an interview to ABC’s John McQuethey (no I can’t spell) a few months ago. When asked about his opinions of those who were then calling for his head on a pike, Rummy gave the following answer:

Those people wouldn’t have appointed me anyway.

My humble opinion is Rummy stays – if for no other reason than to poke a finger in the eyes of the aforementioned motley crew of characters. Never mind the fact he’s a damn fine SECDEF.

Tomorrow Rummy goes before the Senate Armed Services Committee – called there by some lawmakers who currently have their thongs wound up too tight and have their sights set on opening a can of Whoopass on Rummy. If I were them, I’d watch the film of Rummy’s press conferences. Rummy is not one to let himself be walked upon. More than one Pentagon correspondent has been verbally eviscerated in classic Rummy style.

Should be a good show. Go get ‘em Rummy!

Here endeth the lesson.

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