"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Thursday, March 11, 2004
On John Kerry (Part 4 of the continuing series):

Lurch is making this way to easy. Yesterday he was working a rope line and let slip some damning comments into what was supposed to be a closed microphone. In response to a supporter telling him to “keep smiling” (sorry Mr. Liberal, Lurch’s features are frozen by botox) Lurch stated the following:

"Let me tell you, we've just begun to fight," Lurch said. "We're going to keep pounding. These guys are the most crooked, you know, lying group I've ever seen. It's scary."

Lurch cries foul every time someone brings into question his public record. The quote above doesn’t surprise me – it’s a look at the true inner workings of Lurch. I’m only surprised by the fact that “By the way, did you know I served in Vietnam?” wasn’t tacked on to his statement.

For the record, Lurch, the most crooked, lying group to walk the halls of the White House was tossed in January of 2001. The number of people from that sorry excuse for an administration who were impeached, indicted, and convicted is too long to put here.

It is very simple to take a look at Lurch’s record and see the change between Senator Lurch and Candidate Lurch. Let’s start with taxes.

Lurch has taken a page from the Clinton campaign handbook and promised a middle class tax cut. All those of you who received your Clinton middle class tax cut raise your hand. Anyone with their hand raised suffers from false memory syndrome. Said tax cut never materialized. Lurch has voted 350 times to raise one tax or another. That’s a fact. Facts are stubborn things.

Next let’s go to military, intelligence, and foreign policy. If you follow Lurch’s voting record over the past 20 years you’d come up with the following:

There would be no B-1, B-2, F-117, M1-A1, Bradley Fighting Vehicle, F-14, F-15, or F/A 18. To many those are merely acronyms and numbers. To the soldiers, sailors, and airmen, they are the predominant front line weapons systems on today’s battlefield. Intelligence budgets would be a shadow of what they are today – Lurch couldn’t even get Ted ‘Dude, where’s my scotch?’ Kennedy to co-sponsor that bill. The US Military would be at the beck and call of the UN. Kuwait would be the 19th province of Iraq and Saddam would most likely control the lion’s share of the world’s oil reserves.

That’s not a smear campaign, Lurch. That’s just a cursory review of facts.

A smear campaign might consist of the following statement:

In Lurch’s America, the rich would be taxed to poverty, the poor would be subsidized just enough to keep them from being infected with the initiative to better their lives, and the military would go to war in school buses and hybrid Toyotas, but only at the direction of the United Nations (ie – France, Syria, the Sudan, and other well meaning nations of the world).

On second thought, that really isn’t a smear statement. Sounds more like facts again to me. And if I were you, Lurch, I ‘d get used to it.

Here endeth the lesson.

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