"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Monday, August 25, 2003
On Florida 2000, California 2003, and elections in general:

Some flake by the name of Timothy Noah wrote a piece for Slate that’s hardly worth the cyberspace upon which it is published. Slate hardly merits the bandwidth it consumes, and Noah is a good example of why that site has never and will never make a thin dime. There are so many erroneous statements masquerading as fact in this piece that I scarcely have time to refute them all. Unlike Mr. Noah, I have real work to do.

Two things:

1. “The real villain of the Long Count, though, was neither the Democrats nor the Republicans. It was the Electoral College, which denied Gore the presidency even though he won the popular vote. Let’s get rid of it.”

Mr. Noah, your guy lost Florida. Get over it. Get over yourself. Every single re-count, official, unofficial, and just plain whacked, shows Bush won Florida. Take out the felons, illegal aliens, and dead people voting democratic and the vote wouldn’t have even been close. The above statement may offend, as it was meant to, but both you and I know it to be true.

One thing you really should come to grips with: Gore didn’t even carry his home state, Tennessee. Had he done this, Florida would not have mattered in the slightest. Gore never closed the deal with middle America, and that, Mr. Noah, is why he is now pretending to lecture at UCLA and introducing himself as the man who ‘used to be the next President of the United States.’ I personally hope he enjoys his retirement.

As for the Electoral College: Hillary Clinton made the same promise shortly after being elected. The quote read: “The first legislation I will sponsor will be a bill abolishing the Electoral College.” One would think someone as smart as Hillary, or Mr. Noah for that matter, would understand the complexities of such and undertaking. As they obviously missed the high school class on the subject of the Electoral College, let me summarize:

The Electoral College is a constitutionally mandated organization. In order to eliminate it, the Constitution to which the Electoral College owes its existence must be amended. The amending process is, by design, very, very difficult. Not only must you convince a three-fifths majority of both houses of congress, but you also must convince the same percentage of state legislatures. Now, Mr. Noah, please tell me that, in your wildest left winged liberal dreams, you can convince states like Iowa, Utah, Idaho, Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, North and South Dakota, Louisiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Ohio, Nebraska, and New Mexico to give up the great equalizing power of their Electoral Votes to let people in New York and California elect the President. Let’s get rid of it. Sorry, Tim. Ain’t that simple. Thank God.

2. The California Recall:
As a former resident and still registered voter in the Golden State, I can personally tell you that Governor Grayout Doofus (a colloquial regional pronunciation of Gray Davis) is by far the worst governor that ever managed to get his sorry butt elected. He took a large budget surplus and managed, through excessive spending and outright waste, fraud, and abuse, to turn it into a deficit bigger than all other states combined (not including New York, of course). He so completely bungled the ‘energy crisis’ that my student loans will be paid off before California’s electric bill will be. He cooked the books to get re-elected in 2002. Companies, people, and wildlife are fleeing the state in droves because of the anti-business, anti-family, confiscatory tax structure Davis and his democratic controlled legislature has put in place. Now, you may ask “people and business are leaving California just because of this?” Yes, they are. I was one of them.

You may not agree with the recall process of California. Tough. It’s the law and it’s been on the books since 1911 along with the referendum process that also pisses the hell out of otherwise friendly liberals. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems liberals only like the rule of law when it suits their purpose.

Davis has been exposed for the fraud he is. The people got together and used a legal tool they voted for themselves. Government receives power and authority from the people, not the other way around. Republicans aren’t stealing elections they can’t win. They are simply using a legal tool at their disposal. With a 29% approval rating, Davis is as good as gone. The only question remaining is will it be Arnold or Bustamante? Lacking anything else, it will be a fun show to watch.

So, Timmy Boy, find something else to write or complain about before they turn the lights, servers, and soft drink machines off over there at Slate. In the immortal words of Dennis Miller, “if my yawn gets any larger, the National Weather Service will have to name a hurricane after it.”

Here endeth the lesson.

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